The Stranger, The Better

The worst part of planning a wedding, for me at least, is the mom. Mine is so beaming proud that her 36-year-old daughter isn’t a lesbian and as proof, is getting married, that she needs to let her entire ward (that’s a congregation for those of you who don’t speak Mormon) know. She also needs to invite them to the reception. At first, I was adamantly (put on a little makeup makeup, make sure they get your good side good side) against it. I asked her to narrow it down to maybe 5 invitations – you know, just people she was close to. A barter ensued and we were able to NARROW IT DOWN to 50. Not 50 people, 50 invitations, 50 families/couples. 50+ strangers. Why would I want all these strangers at my wedding?? Why in the world does she think this is ok? I’ve never met any of these people. Did I confuse her when I said “I’d just like family, close friends, and, oh, hell, let’s just DOUBLE the guest list and invite a bunch of people I’ve never met, too?” Maybe I should go stand in the middle of the mall and hand any extra invitations to passersby. She has tried to plead her case by saying “they might even throw you a shower.” Yay. A party with a bunch of strangers giving me free stuff. I can’t think of anything more comfortable. Except maybe selling a wheelbarrow full of crap to a feeble elderly woman on social security. However, I guess when you’re paying for your daughter’s wedding, that means you get to make all the decisions. Like what time things will begin and end, where the rehearsal dinner will be, who caters it, whose names go on the invitations, what color linens to put on the tables, which of daughter’s ideas are poo (all of them), etc. etc. Wait a minute, no it doesn’t! I think when you hang something over someone’s head like “you’re broke and I’m paying,” in order to have things the way you want them, it’s called manipulation. And, folks, that just ain’t right. So, even though the 250 invitations are printed and the photos that go with them are on their way, Chouaib and I just might go have a bonfire up the canyon with them (we’ll pay you back, mom), go to the county court house when my dad and brother come into town (immediate family only), and then have a nice reception when we can afford to do it our (my) way. How does that sound? Love ya, mom.

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Published in: on September 21, 2008 at 3:19 pm  Comments (8)  

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. How I can relate. My mum wasn’t a problem thankfully, but my M-I-L… omg.

  2. I paid for my wedding. That’s why we went to the courthouse and then to Blockbuster.

    I’d love for someone else to pay for and plan my whole wedding! Truly love it.

  3. Oh gosh, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s part of the “joy” of wedding planning…momzilla. My mom wasn’t like that, but like Johanna, my MIL is a whole ‘nother story. And it got a gazillion times worse with a baby. Holy cow.

    Just remember that, although the wedding/reception may be done per your mom’s wishes, the MARRIAGE is yours. And that’s the most amazing thing that’s going to come out of this day, no matter how it’s planned. As long as you and Chouaib end up married at the end of the day, it will have been a HUGE success. And I can’t wait to share it with you!

  4. Eloping is the only way to get married in my book. So easy! Parents don’t have time to fuss over details! In the end, you get married either way. Isn’t that the most important part?

  5. That’s why if I ever meet someone to marry, I’m going to VEGAS!

  6. I actually really liked all the people I didn’t know coming to my reception for two reasons: I didn’t have a line and my mom has rich friends. So we got some REALLY good loot and I didn’t have to have awkward conversations with the people who gave them to me. You can’t lose!

  7. Your situation sounds both good and bad to me. It’s not so bad if your mom has different taste than you unless her taste is just plain awful in general. I would have loved for someone to pay for me to have the wedding I wanted, but we didn’t and now I have the memories of how crappy it was. The upside, my mom didn’t make the decisions so we didn’t have to wear boas or put glitter on our faces. Yes, those were really her suggestions and she wasn’t kidding.
    Just think positive. At least your mom didn’t get to pick your groom.
    I hope your wedding turns out wonderfully.

  8. It’s a little late, but congrats on your engagement!

    Josh and I did everything ourselves, so while we didn’t have everything under the sun, we had what we planned for how much we were willing to spend. If we had wanted more, I would have had to give up control to a money-donor. No thanks!


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