Got Tourette’s?

Checking a guy into the spa one day, I had just given him the spiel about what amenities were available, how to properly blow his nose, and drink water from the side of the cup that is closest to one’s mouth, etc. etc. when he asked what time we close. That’s a pretty normal question. When I told him 10 o’clock, he looked at me and yelled, “SUPERSEX!”

To make sure I really heard what I thought he said, I replied, “excuse me?”

SUPERSEX!”

I tried to ask if he needed a locker key but he ignored my offer and hurried down the hallway.

Oh yeah, and this reminds me of a story I heard once. For their elderly father’s birthday, his children wanted to do something special for him by hiring a prostitute. So she shows up at his house and says, “My name is Shauna* and I’m here to give you SUPER SEX!”

The old man was caught quite off guard, thought about the offer for a minute, and responded, “I’ll take the soup.”

Waitaminnit…maybe the dude at the spa was giving me an option. Hmmm…

*names have been changed

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Published in: on August 29, 2007 at 11:41 pm  Comments (3)  

One thing about having roommates…

it keeps things interesting. Here is a picture of exactly how my bathroom countertop looks right now.

bath-items.jpg

Yes, that is a bottle of ketchup.

Published in: on August 28, 2007 at 11:16 am  Comments (8)  

Music Monday – The Thousands

I like Beasties. I like Gorillaz.

Now listen.

Published in: on August 26, 2007 at 11:32 pm  Comments (2)  

Sometimes a girl just needs good boy friends.

Last night my plans fell through (= got stood up), which doesn’t make one feel really good. Fortunately, as I was deliberating whether a Vegas episode of Cops, in which an officer was arresting a half-naked, belligerent midget for pan-handling tourists, was really an episode of Reno 911, I got a text from Travis asking what I was doing. Because Weston was coming up from Utah County and maybe we could all hang out. I replied that I really didn’t care what we did, as long as I could wear my pajamas and it included ice cream. My request was approved and as we discussed what we could do, someone suggested maybe going to one of the best places on earth, The Bakery (I’m pretty sure it was me, because I also have that girl thing happening to me, too) and we all thought that would be pretty awesome, so we went (I even put on normal pants). We had (not your mom’s) grilled cheese, chocolate mousse, blueberry amandine, fresh apple tart, French Onion soup, and only water because the Coke I ordered somehow forgot to come to the table. We talked about morality/immorality in politics, Al Gore, the possibility that one the ten lost tribes of Israel is aliens, the probability that Al Gore is an alien, the advantages of moving to Sacramento and other life stuff in the moonlight.

Then we walked around the library and noticed that the City and County building looks like an evil face at night when viewed from the east and thought about riding Trax around the free zone for a while.

We walked around the lake and woke up in the rain…

Then thanked each other for a lovely evening and went home.

trav-n-weston.jpg

krisp-n-trav.jpg

Published in: on August 26, 2007 at 8:21 am  Comments (10)  

Best Day Ever

No, really. Yesterday my blog got more hits than ever: 145, beating the record 136 of my first or second day here. That’s kinda cool.

Published in: on August 24, 2007 at 4:17 pm  Comments (3)  

I know I am, but what are you?

Yet another fool-proof quiz for those having a crise d’identité. Discover yourself. This is WHO YOU ARE, forever.


My personalDNA Report

Published in: on August 24, 2007 at 11:24 am  Leave a Comment  

Crap

And I thought the bacon cheeseburgers would kill me.

Published in: on August 23, 2007 at 8:34 am  Comments (5)  

I did it.

Today I finally accomplished step 1 of one of the very important life-changing things I’ve been putting off for way too long. Now I have to wait. Step 2 should happen within the next month. I’ll keep y’all posted. In the meantime, I will work on some more life-changing things that seem hard but really aren’t.

I know you love it when I speak cryptically. But you know what I’m talking about.

Published in: on August 22, 2007 at 1:47 pm  Comments (9)  

If you wanted to get me something…

here is an idea.

Published in: on August 21, 2007 at 10:24 am  Comments (7)  

Found

Real success stories from an LDS dating site (copied and pasted):

My husband and I met online in December of 2005. He was moving to St. Geoge, UT, and a missionary that was serving in his area told him to check out LDS singles to see his brother’s girlfriend and also to meet people before he moved. On the first day that he signed up, my profile came up. Since I live in Henderson, NV, 2 hours from St. George, it was strange that my profile would come up. We emailed for a while, then talked on the phone. We met later in March and he decided to to move to Henderson instead of St. George so we could date. We were married just this past April 2007 and are happier than we ever thought possible! We’re so grateful that we were able to find each other!! Thanks so much!!

In looking at My fiance’s profile I felt an immediate connection. I contacted her via messaging and asked her if she would look over my profile and if I was someone she would like to get to know better. She wrote back and said yes. We hit it off right away. It has been a wonderful experience. I asked for her hand in marraige and she has greatfully accepted. The Lord brought us together and has been our guide in the time we have known each other.

Success stories you probably won’t see on the same site:

I was about to log off and go to bed when he IM’d me. He didn’t waste any time getting to some very personal questions. It was uncomfortable at first, but I got over it and agreed to let him come to my place that night anyway. The following week, we eloped to Las Vegas!

She sent me a ‘smile’ so I sent her one back. Then she sent a ‘hi’ and I sent a ‘nice pics.’ She responded with a ‘let’s meet up’ and I sent her a ‘you seem fun.’ Then we met up and she was fun and had nice pics so now we’re engaged.

We exchanged a couple of emails on the site and decided to meet at one of the dances that was advertised on your site. I thought he looked so much hotter in person and he told me the same thing. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other all night. Nine months later, our daughter was born. We will probably get married sometime and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for helping me meet my baby daddy.

Published in: on August 20, 2007 at 6:42 pm  Comments (6)